that’s what i’ve been missing these past 3-4 years. diet (lack thereof) is why i only went from 140-160 from sophomore-senior year. i always made the excuse “i have a high metabolism” or w/e, i was simply not eating enough
for the past month i’ve been very consistent with being present in the gym 6x/week, putting in good effort: regular hypertrophy split, but with no real progression laid out.
need to reorient my goals, i want to (in order)…:
- put on some weight
- hit 225 bench already
- get my leg game up
- get back game up
with this in mind: diet. minimum of 3k cal/day. minimum 100g protein/day. so far so good, been averaging 3-4k cal/day for the past week, gained a pound a couple pounds. COUNT YOUR CALORIES!!!
training: wanna try running smolov jr. for bench using 205 as starting pr, aiming for 225 at the end of 3 week cycle. meanwhile, get in squats/deadlifts/pullups at least once a week just to keep my legs alive.
Day 1(smolov): 6 set smolov bench, 5 set pullups
Day 2(squat): back squat 5x5, front squat 3x8, curl
Day 3(smolov): 7 set smolov bench, 5 set pullups
Day 4(back): deadlift 5x5, row 3x8, curl
Day 5(smolov): 8 set smolov bench, 5 set pullups
Day 6(smolov): 10 set smolov bench
Day 7: rest
might be a bit much, but we’ll see how it goes
In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.
A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.
Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.
Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.
The ones that live for tomorrow, get fucked by the ones living for today. I only live for today. I’ll show you just how fucked up that can be.
felt a little moisture in my eye
weights will always be there for me, so long as i’m there for them. what i put in, i get out. regardless of how much i stray (smoking/drinking/girl/slovenliness/etc.), i can always turn to weights for comfort and catharsis. it teaches me discipline and determination, having to put in unconditional work everyday; and hopefully i can find a femme to be my weights, there for me to turn to and input unconditional love everyday.